I Can’t Remember How Many Homes I Have


Scanning the old hometown newspaper, the St. Petersburg Times, I stumbled upon the shocking story of John McCain. He doesn’t know how many homes he has.

At first, I thought this was funny. The old man has finally completed the journey out of his own mind, I thought. Put a fork in him.

But, then I read how people were actually getting mad about this. How dare he claim to be one of us when he owns so many homes that he can’t remember where they are!

Then I realized that I can’t remember how many homes I have, either…

I know that I currently sleep in Studio City, CA. But, a lot of my mail may still be going to a North Hollywood address.

Then, there is an occasional bank statement that comes redirected from Indianapolis. My driver’s license is also from Indy, but not from that address. Or the one before it.

Confused? So am I. And so are my parents in St. Petersburg, who get mail at my home address, which isn’t my first home address.

What about that fraternity alumni magazine that arrives with a Tallahassee address? Which Tallahassee address? I’m not sure. There are 4 or 5 possibilities.

The point here is, I can’t remember how many homes I have. Or where there are. Or if I’m sleeping in the right one. Hopefully, I am. And hopefully, I haven’t left the iron on somewhere. I guess I’m not so different from McCain after all.


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