Green Lantern Saved My Life On The Freeway


It wasn’t enough for a flatbed 16-wheeler to swerve over into my lane this afternoon, forcing me to slam on the brakes at 70mph. Just 2 minutes later, a plumber’s pickup forced me onto the shoulder of an exit ramp because he, too, was in a hurry.

I could have been killed. Both times. But, it wasn’t my time. God just wanted me to know that he was keeping an eye on me, and that I haven’t been very nice to nerds lately. Specifically, comic book nerds.

I blame the fact that Revenge of the Nerds was on the other night, and I haven’t been able to get that chant out of my head: “Ooh, ahh.. Alpha Beta! Ooh, aah… Alpha Beta!” I was even bragging how Donald Gibb was my fraternity brother. Yes, Ogre is a Phi.

Escaping death, I approached the rest of the day a little more open-minded. I spoke with the Comic Girl, who shared with me her vast knowledge of all things super.

  • I learned that the Black Canary has the power of scream.
  • Marvel and DC differ in that one has heroes that kill and the other does not – although, I do not remember which is which.
  • I know the Top 5 Green Lanterns because there is now a yellow Post-It on my monitor that bears their names. Just in case I am tested.
  • And I know that most comic book nerds fans hate Aquaman. Not because they think he’s gay – which they do. But, because he never helps the Justice League unless his little Waterworld is affected. So not cool, dude.

I know much more about comics than I should. Much more than I wanted. But, I am alive. And I have Alan Scott, Guy Gardner, Hal Jordan, Kyle Rayner, and John Stewart to thank for that.


3 Responses to “Green Lantern Saved My Life On The Freeway”

  1. 1 ginayates

    You’re retarded.

  2. Thank you.

  3. 3 ginayates

    But clever. Glad you didn’t die.

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