Tailgating Nuns On The Freeway

25Jul08

I may be going to Hell. All because of the 210 freeway and a nun.

I stayed in Arcadia last night, which meant that I would enjoy a fun little 210-134-101 commute to Sherman Oaks this morning. To those who are unfamiliar with L.A., those numbers represent codes for different stages of traffic suckiness. This suckiness can be defined by a wide variety of parameters, such as speed, congestion, air quality, and stupidity.

On most freeways in Los Angeles, the right lane is reserved for landscaping freelancers and their converted pickup trucks, the left lane for vanity plates, and the middle lanes for weavers.

On this particular morning, I crossed into the vanity lane, even though I do not have a vanity plate. This is very dangerous, as it can cause disorientation for other drivers who enjoy deciphering ego puzzles. The lane was moving slower than the others, which is highly unusual for the vanity lane. The car was not a Lexus. Nor a Benz. Nor a BMW. It was not any of the common vanity lane models. It was plain, brown, and slow. I adjusted my speed, checked the time, and mumbled a what-the-fuck. After a few minutes, the plain brown slow car moved into a weaver lane and I was finally able to pass.

It was a nun. A sweet little old nun who could barely see over the steering wheel. She was preparing to exit for Fuller Seminary. I was preparing for a day’s worth of Catholic guilt.

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4 Responses to “Tailgating Nuns On The Freeway”

  1. 1 betheboy

    Nice, thanks for damning us all.

  2. 2 @illuminato

    Reminds me of an old, mild joke:

    A police officer had just pulled over a car full of nuns for going too slow on a major highway. The conversation went like this:
    Police officer: “Why were you driving so slowly?”
    Nun driver: “I kept seeing all these signs with the number 20 on them and figured that was the speed limit.”
    Police officer: “No, Sister, that is the highway number.”
    Nun: “Oh, I’m so sorry, Officer, I didn’t know that.”
    Then the police officer looks into the back seat and sees that the nuns there have panic-stricken faces and white knuckles from holding on to each other too tightly.
    Police officer: “What’s wrong with the nuns in the back seat?”
    Nun: “Oh, we just got off Highway 101 a few miles ago.”

  3. Love your description of the lanes. Absolutely brilliant and so damn accurate. When I’m in the Jetta, you will see me in the vanity lane: Nail Ale. 🙂

  4. Thanks for another informative website. The place else could I get that type of
    information written in such a perfect way? I have a challenge that I’m simply now running on, and I have been at the look out for
    such info.


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